Unlocking the Strength Beneath Our Struggles

The term post-traumatic stress disorder—the psychological troubles that unfold after severe stressful events—is familiar to many. Far less known, however, is post-traumatic growth: our ability to rise stronger after adversity. I first encountered the term in Kelly McGonigal’s The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It.

Since then, I’ve come across the term frequently. Authors like Adam Grant have helped popularize the concept. Yet what makes post-traumatic growth both compelling and elusive is the perception that somehow we need to be deeply traumatized to benefit from it. Another challenge is that how we experience trauma is relative. We each experience and respond to adversity differently. The intensity and impact vary from person to person.

Perhaps post-traumatic growth is more accessible than we think. Regardless of the “degree” of trauma, I believe everyone can benefit from it. If we’re willing to recognize our past challenges, personal losses, and overall adversity, then they can become our greatest allies.

The cost of minimizing past adversity is that, much like a rock in your shoe, it prevents us from capitalizing on our hidden strengths. It keeps us from achieving our full potential. The idea behind post-traumatic growth is not just that we can come out of it stronger, but that we become more prepared for future setbacks. This isn’t about ruminating on the past or opening old wounds. Instead, it’s about reframing adversity to reveal those hidden strengths.

Oftentimes we believe that strength is the absence of problems. We think the grass is always greener on the other side. We seem to admire what appears to be effortless performance, and ignore the struggle that it took to get there. But growing stronger stems from adversity. Once we recognize our struggles, we can transform them into our greatest assets.

Before we continue with this framework, let me add a quick word of caution: I’m not implying that recent traumatic experiences, ongoing abuse, or any severe mental health challenges can be easily transformed into strength. Of course these require professional support, and not all of our past adversity needs to be revisited either.

Having said that, let’s see how we can make this idea more tangible. Consider the following prompt. Fill in the blanks:

“I have encountered adversity in [insert challenge], and now I am (or I feel) [insert strength or growth].”

This simple reflection helps us name our pain and claim the strength that’s already within you because of it. Whether it’s a shift in identity or an emotional experience, both are powerful signs of growth. For example:

• I have encountered adversity in fear of other people’s opinions, and now I feel more deeply connected with myself and others.
• I have encountered adversity in divorce, and now I am more capable of building lasting, meaningful relationships.
• I have encountered adversity in illness, and now I am attuned to what truly matters.
• I have encountered adversity in self-judgment, and now I am compassionate with myself.
• I have encountered adversity in heartbreak, and now I am committed to honoring my needs.

Time plays a crucial role in healing—how we grieve, how long we allow ourselves to recover, and whether we create the much-needed space to zoom out and see ourselves emerging stronger. But healing isn’t just about returning to baseline. It’s about choosing: will we see ourselves stronger and more capable, or will we stay stuck? Will we embrace the hidden strength within?

As the therapist.com puts it:

“Resilience is the ability to return to your usual way of living after stress, trauma, or setbacks. Posttraumatic growth is different—it’s about moving beyond where you started.”

Perhaps our greatest challenge is overcoming our tendency to repress feelings and memories. But we can rise above—if we’re compassionate with ourselves, again and again. Personal growth is often the effect of adversity overcome. Hidden strength lives right beneath this subtle claim: I am stronger because of what I’ve faced. For example, who would you rather have show up at a fire: a seasoned firefighter who’s been through it all, or one who’s never faced adversity?

If anything, this is about shifting our perception. Our greatest challenges, losses, and pains don’t have to define us for the rest of our lives. Instead, we see them through, with time, and rise far stronger than we were. Consider this: What would the inverse of post-traumatic growth be? Perhaps something like “post-successful decay”—where the lack of adversity blinds us into becoming overconfident and complacent. While we should celebrate our wins, we must change the way we relate to adversity and recognize that many of our struggles truly make us stronger.